Most of my stories about hot flashes while running are more humorous than anything, but last year’s NJ Marathon was not one of them. I had trained my tail off during one of the coldest winters in recent East Coast history. Most runs were completed in sub-freezing temperatures and there were several single digit runs that were cut short due to the cold. To top it off, my step-dad’s mom, my step-grandma, was losing her battle against all the various illnesses that come with old-age and there was almost daily check-ins to see if she survived the night. This went on for months. I had client work, my two boys and husband to care for and still, I trained like mad for this marathon. This was going to be my BQ.
My mileage was up to 40+ miles every week and topped out at 50 for the most intense weeks of training. I did 3 or 4 20 mile runs and several others at 18+. I really felt prepared.
Grandma Tom died in February, finally at peace. As these things go, it was a relief for all invoved, but still not easy. Consistent with how she lived her life, she had all the funeral arrangements completed, with the exception of the date of the service, naturally. Between all those coming from far away (I’m originally from Hawaii, so I was one of several coming from the East Coast, including my aunt who lives in Rochester) and the busy mortuary schedule, the funeral couldn’t be scheduled until mid-April, just days before my marathon.
Despite all the hours and miles I had put in, it was more important for me to be with my family during this time. I flew to Hawaii and was there for about a week to help with final preparations and attend the memorial service and burial. I hadn’t been home in so long and it was great to see so many from the family that I hadn’t seen in years but it was a difficult trip. I caught a cold, didn’t sleep well and was trying to keep a positive spin on things for my step-dad who really needed support. To top it off, there was a big crisis with a client project and I had to work the first 12 hours of my visit.
The memorial and burial were very nice and I think comforting for my step-dad and aunt. Losing a mom is very hard but hearing so many kind words from so many people can help to ease the pain some. Then, the day before I was to leave Hawaii, my dad’s sister, Aunt Jean, passed away from breast and lung cancer. She had been sick for some time and this was her second battle with breast cancer, but the timing was very difficult. She was in Kansas and the funeral would be there within a few weeks. Being that I was just away for a week, there was no way I could attend her funeral as well and that weighed on me. But there’s only so much one person can do, right? My sister couldn’t attend Grandma Tom’s service, and she was much closer both in geography and emotionally to Aunt Jean so it made sense that she would attend that service for the both of us.
I flew back from Hawaii on Wednesday night, arriving in NY on Thursday morning, not having had a good night’s sleep in a week, still battling a head cold and completely jet-lagged. The marathon was Sunday morning. Despite everything that I had been through during the two weeks leading up to the race, I was still confident that I would have a great race and be able to qualify for Boston.
I tried to sleep as much as I could Thursday and Friday and then on Saturday Rob and the boys and I drove down to Long Branch to go to the race expo and get ready to run Sunday morning. The hotel was a half mile from the start and not far from the finish so at least those logistics were working in my favor. We had a great Italian dinner and got back to the room early to try and get a good night’s sleep. That never happens for me the night before a big race and that night was no exception. I tossed and turned and woke up anxious but still excited and ready to run.
The weather was perfect. Not too warm, sunny and not too windy. My best friend Kristen was there at the start to send me on my way and my teammates from VCTC who were also running were there as well. No one I knew was running my pace but there were pace groups and I tucked in with the 3:55 group, since that’s my BQ time.
The first few miles were very crowded, as most big races are but things were going along as planned. I was with the pace group, not having any difficulty maintaining the pace and enjoying the morning. Around mile 4-5 I decided to go for my first gel. I had them stashed in the pocket of my water bottle that I carry during long races so I don’t have to stop at water stops. As I was taking the gel out, my salt tablets fell out onto the street and were gone. I had trained with the salt tablets and was used to having them but now they were gone and there was no way to go back and get them. I told myself, it’s okay, don’t worry, there’s sports drinks and you have your gels, you’ll be fine, don’t stress about something you can’t change. I was also starting to feel a little warm and realized early on that I over dressed for the day but again, tried not to let that get me stressed out.
We passed the 10K point and I was still feeling fine, on pace with the group and feeling confident. But by mile 10 things started to change. I had taken a second gel per my race plan, and refilled my water bottle at the next water stop. That took me a few extra seconds and I fell behind the pace group. I learned a long time ago not to try and make up for lost time in a marathon all at once. I tried to just push a tiny bit more to keep gaining on the pace group slowly, rather than sprint and burn out before even hitting the halfway point. But rather than catching up slowly, they were getting further and further away. Slowly I realized that I felt like I was really working but I was going slower and slower. My head started to get warm and then really hot. The hat came off and other items of clothing and I slowed way down, more than a minute per mile off my pace.
At this point I was just trying to hang on. I made it to the halfway point and thought maybe I could hang on and just finish so at least I wouldn’t have my first ever DNF, but by mile 14 I found myself drifting to the left and feeling rather dizzy so I decided it was time to call it quits. I stopped at the next water station and told them I needed transport back to the finish line. Just then, Laura and Bobby, two of my VCTC teammates, ran up looking for me to cheer me on. I was so happy to see them but at the same time, wanted to be left alone in my misery. Laura, who is also a nurse, stayed with me until the mini-ambulance came and even rode with me to the triage tent. I got some fluids and rested for a bit and recovered with no problems but it was a trying hour or so.
My husband and two boys were waiting for me outside the tent and we were able to make it back to the hotel and get showered and fed before heading back to the Bronx.
There were so many things that went wrong with this race it’s hard to say it was just peri-menopause symptoms that kept me from finishing that marathon, but I do believe if I had one less thing going wrong that day I certainly would have finished. It was not my BQ day, but it was a day that I learned to take stock of all contributing factors before setting race-day goals. So many things are out of your control like weather, crowds, and other factors, so those all need to be assessed on race morning and any adjustments to the race plan need to be made once that assessment is complete. If I had taken some time to think about my physical health, lack of sleep for 2 weeks and, the stress of losing two relatives in a short time, I might have realized that I should have adjusted my goal from a huge PR to just finish, taken it easy from the start and I might have gotten across the finish line that day. But that’s not what happened and I learned my lesson. It was a tough one to learn, but sometimes the only way these things sink in is by experiencing them first hand…